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This is not what I was expecting
I was hurting. My mind, my body. The inside of my cells felt like they were shrivelling up. I was dirty. Skin cells clumping together, oily hair and dried blood. The idea of what my life would look like now, after giving birth, shattered. Little pieces of me falling to my hospital bed side. Hot, light and lonely, even with my mother next to me. This baby is depending on me and I have no fucking idea what I am supposed to do. I have been awake for almost three days now, I have been in pain, pain that made my body burn and my legs lift and twinge. I was crawling out of my…
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11 Reasons Why New Mums are Gangster
Since becoming a mum, I am much more confident in every day life. I don’t feel the pressure of having to please everyone and I am more focused on what I need to do for my family. I have a sense of freedom even though technically I am less free, I am finally able to follow my own rules. It doesn’t matter what other people think, you just gotta do whatchu gotta do. No disrespect. With this new found confidence I realised that actually I am a Gangster. Here are my reasons why. Rollin’ on dubs I am always bumpin’ down the street with my decked out buggy blasting Gin and Juice. Not only is my buggy as expensive as a…
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5 Tips for Returning to Work After Maternity Leave
Your maternity leave may be the longest length of time you take away from the office. But before you know it, you’ll be tucking away your yoga pants and reacquainting yourself with your work wardrobe. If you’re planning a pregnancy or starting the adoption process, it’s never too early to plan time away from work to be with your child. Maternity leaves in the U.S. are some of the shortest in the world. In one survey, 23 percent of moms returned to work only two weeks after a baby was born. Ideally, your maternity leave will be much longer. But no matter how much time you have to bond with your newborn before…
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Things I Wish I Could Tell My Pregnant Self
Dear Melissa, You are in for a big surprise. Everything you think right now about having a child is wrong. So take a moment and remember this quote. And now for the list. The poo is not that bad. Your average tube journey will now feel like a mission into the trenches of World War II. When you are finally able to go out on the town with the girls, you’re social skills will have downgraded to cooing and nodding “yes”. You do not know what tired means. You will use your nipple as a weapon to get the baby to sleep. Your bus journey will no longer be suited…
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How a Sleep Trainer Saved My Life
I am alive. I want to kiss Hannah Love all over her face and throw rainbow sprinkles on her driveway and hire Ryan Gosling to stand at her doorway with a big bouquet of roses like, The day has finally come, I. have. slept. My baby was finally like…… …and I was like.. Honestly I never knew that sleep trainers existed until I met Hannah, and she was the best decision of my entire life. I have now had a consistent week of sleep from 7pm to 7am (sometimes 8!). I can’t believe that I ever existed without sleep. Here are five reasons why sleep is the best decision (who knew…
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The Secret to Get Your Baby to Sleep
Oh how the tables have turned. I am (me!) giving advice on how to help your baby sleep better! WHAT. Who would’ve thought this day would ever come? So let me first say (oh it sounds like I’m about to make a toast) that my baby sleep skills are because of the wonderful Hannah who started her own sleep training business, Yummy Baby Group, which has taken the sleep training scene by storm. My life has started again. I am officially alive as I said in my previous post on Sleeping Like a Baby I am SO SO SO SO much happier!!! Raising my metaphorical glass to this amazing woman! Okay SO, here is the secret sleep sauce shortened…
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Tips for Staying Healthy during Pregnancy
When I imagined being pregnant I always thought my husband would bring me to a room filled with mountains of mint chocolate chip ice cream, with furniture made out of sweets and a big fat marshmallow shaped bear that I could return to eat every day until the baby was born. I thought I would be able to happily ingest whatever I please until the baby was born. And afterwards, the calories would just drop off of me. POOF. I am thin again! The reality was, how do I say this……a bit different. I found out that you only need 100-200 calories extra a day for the first six months of your pregnancy,…
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Muminising – Making More Space to Enjoy Mum Life
My closet is a freakin’ mess. The living room is packed with random elephants and wires and cloth. The kitchen looks like an animal war zone. Don’t even start on the hallway, is there even a hallway there? I can’t see the floors. This may be a slight over-exaggeration, but not far from my reality. I decided it’s time to make the change. I swear this has nothing to do with a new year or a new me yadadada, this has been lingering in the background for some time now. And finally, this documentary on Netflix kickstarted what I like to call Muminising. The beginning of a new era with…
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Places and Pick Up Lines to Attract the Perfect Mum Friend
On my mum journey I have found that having mum friends is key to mum success. Diyyaam, I just said “mum” three times in one sentence. While we all know that mum friends are important, unfortunately there is quite an art to making the perfect mum friends. You can always find a mum friend, but finding a perfect mum friend that you actually want to spend your precious one hour of free time with is tricky. It’s similar to hitting on a woman for a first date. “Oh you look nice in those jeans!” “Maybe we can go for a coffee first and drinks later?” “Have you been going to the gym?” I have used these exact phrases to pick up meet…
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5 Things You Do as a New Mum at a Music Festival
I have been so busy with moving house, starting a new job and generally being a working mother that I haven’t had a chance to write a post about my wondrous festival experience at Secret Garden Party Festival that happened back in July. I would highly recommend this festival to anyone. It has everything for every type of person, it’s classy (besides the toilets) and I had the best time of my life. Hands down, best festival I have ever experienced. Anyway, my festival experience has changed slightly since having a child as I’m sure you are all aware, as a parent your priorities change. But what’s funny is that…
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Dear Breasts, Though You Be But Little You Are Fierce
