You are in for a big surprise. Everything you think right now about having a child is wrong. So take a moment and remember this quote.
And now for the list.
- The poo is not that bad.
- Your average tube journey will now feel like a mission into the trenches of World War II.
- When you are finally able to go out on the town with the girls, you’re social skills will have downgraded to cooing and nodding “yes”.
- You do not know what tired means.
- You will use your nipple as a weapon to get the baby to sleep.
- Your bus journey will no longer be suited up men and women staring at their iPhones, but old granny’s yelling at you to stop talking so loudly on your phone.
- You will be a new you, a more tired, yet better you.
- Your boobs will be bigger, but you won’t feel that sexy in them because you begin to realise what they are actually supposed to do. Feed someone.
- Right after the baby is born, your intellectual skills will be more like a 7, but overtime it will go up a bit, maybe an 8.5 on good days.
- You will discover new emotions, mostly all of the emotions converging into one. I call it blurredom (extremely bored but stupidly happy and excited).
- The moment you hold your baby, you will transcend. It is surreal. It’s not really an ecstatic happy feeling but more of a “what the f*** just happened, and is this actually my baby?” feeling.
- I know your pregnancy feels like it’s taking forever, but it is seriously worth it in the end. Enjoy your last few weeks of being on your own and having “me” time. Go do as many “me” things as possible.
- You are going to forget all of the information you are reading about babies because your brain will not work properly for the first couple months. Most of it is just trial and error so try not to fret on the small stuff.
- However, DO read about breastfeeding. It is much more difficult than you think. Maybe even go to some breastfeeding classes.
- Your nipples are going to hurt. And you will be concerned about how much milk your baby is getting, but don’t worry it all evens out in the end.
- You know those hypnobirthing classes you’re taking? They are going to help you more after the birth when you are extremely tired and stressed and need to “re-center”. It might be worth learning how to meditate and getting into a routine on this now. This is going to help you for the rest of your life.
- You are never going to sleep in again. Today I felt lucky that he woke up at 8am instead of 6am.
- Look into getting a regular massage therapist.
- A single smile makes it all worth it.
- Build up those guns because no matter how light he actually weighs, he feels like a bag of bricks.
- Live each day as it comes, you’ll be much happier this way.
- Your house will not be tidy, but don’t sweat it. It’s not as important as you think.
- No matter how many cots, slings, push chairs, swings you buy, you are far more comfortable to sleep on.
- No matter how many toys, stuffed animals, play mats you buy, you are far more interesting to play with.
- Don’t stress about how many times he pooed a day or how much sleep he is getting, if he is getting fatter and growing he’s perfect.
- At first it may just feel overwhelming and scary, but once that fades, you will begin to love this little person more than anything else in the entire world.
- And you will be more happy than you have ever been in your life.
- Just remember, it’s all worth it in the end.
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