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Around six months into her maternity leave she decided to take the leap and start a blog. Like parenting, she doesn't claim to be an expert. Shethinks of herself as a novice blogger! She is a master of typographical errors who's sometimes linguistically challenged and she worries that her only avid reader is her mother in law. But she's doing something which makes her happy and after all life’s too short.
This time last year I was 41+1 weeks pregnant. My weight gain was significant enough that I was starting to resemble Shamu. I had drank all the raspberry leaf tea in the north of England and even stimulating my nipples wasn’t working! Just when I thought I would be pregnant forever I felt my first contraction!
It took an agonising 30 hours of labour before Rory finally made an appearance. Replacing my plan for a natural birth was the chaos of epidurals and forceps. It may have been traumatic but it was worth it. Holding that little boy in my arms was the happiest moment of my life!
A year on and one thing still surprises me. Just how wrong my expectations of childbirth really were:
- Expectation – Gas and Air will be wonderful
- Reality – Gas and Air is useless. In fact it was on par with the paracetamol which got me through the first 12 hours.
- Expectation – I will not be naked
- Reality – I was naked the entire time. I challenge anyone to wear clothes while trying to push -what feels like – a Smeg fridge out of their vagina!
- Expectation – Frozen grapes will be a delicious and refreshing snack
- Reality – When the pain is so intense it’s causing you to moo like a cow, the last thing you fancy is a pissin frozen grape!
- Expectation – I will not be one of those women who screams
- Reality – When mooing is no longer effective you’re left with no other option than to scream.
- Expectation – My body will know what to do
- Reality – My body was just as clueless as my brain! I never did get the hang of pushing down into my bum!!!
- Expectation – The tea and toast will be amazing!
- Reality – It tasted like it had been baked by Greek gods, toasted by Dumbledore’s wand then sent down to earth on the back of a unicorn. Best toast ever!!!