11 Reasons Why New Mums are Gangster

Since becoming a mum, I am much more confident in every day life. I don’t feel the pressure of having to please everyone and I am more focused on what I need to do for my family. I have a sense of freedom even though technically I am less free, I am finally able to follow my own rules. It doesn’t matter what other people think, you just gotta do whatchu gotta do. No disrespect.

With this new found confidence I realised that actually I am a Gangster. Here are my reasons why.

Rollin’ on dubs

gangster hydrolics

I am always bumpin’ down the street with my decked out buggy blasting Gin and Juice. Not only is my buggy as expensive as a car, it is a smooooooth ride.

gangster buggy

Leave the room Noticed

gangster kayne

Just like Dr. Dre, blowin’ sh** up and throwin’ sh** up, I leave the room noticed. My baby is blowin’ up tears and throwin’ up milk and people check me out as I stroll out of Starbucks.

Boy is shouting

Destroy the evidence

gangster flush

When in public, I am so fast at destroying the evidence that nobody even knew somebody got dirty. Poo disaster averted and the police walk right on by.

 gangster nappy

It’s all about the Respect

gangster respect FINAL

A real O.G. is respected in the community. People move out of the way and smile at me when I walk through the streets. Don’t mess with The Mum. As Snoop Dogg puts it, “Internationally known, highly respected, unseen, but well heard.”

gangster mom respect

Tell it like it is

 Eminem

I don’t have time to put up with people that are talkin’ shit anymore. I keep it real.

gangster telling it

Addicted to Crack

gangster drug deal

I can’t do anything in the morning before I get my ‘crack’. Up all night working the hood, I can’t function without it.

 gangster mom ordering coffee

Sippin’ 40s All Day

gangster sippin 40s

I drink wine all day e’rey day (..well at 8pm on the dot every night).

gangster mom drink

Carry Weapons

gangster with gun

I am always strapped with pepper spray and a pocket knife. If somebody tries to steal my baby, my crew will be on them like flies on rice.

gangster mom with pepper spray

Rollin’ Deep with my Crew

gangster with crew

When I enter a restaurant with my crew, the manager has to reorganise all of the furniture to make room for us. They be trippin’ if they think we’d leave our prams outside.

gangster moms with crew

Every Day I’m Hustlin’

gangster hustle

 I flirt with the dude at Costa to get my crack faster. And it takes me over 20 minutes to get out of my house, I’m hustlin’ to e’reythang.

gangster flirt

My Dance Skills are On Fleek

gangster dougie

My only exercise is when I entertain the baby by dancing to Gangster rap. Teach me how to dougie, teach me, teach me, how to dougie.

LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON -- Episode 789 -- Pictured: (l-r) Jimmy Fallon, First Lady Michelle Obama -- (Photo by: Lloyd Bishop/NBC)

And so it goes, another day, another diaper. AND I’M OUT. 

gangster IM OUT

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