Dad Life,  New Mum Problems

Redefining what Being a ‘Man’ Really Means

Probably a little bit like me too. He’ll grow up, turn into a young LAD, and he’ll be standing in a group of friends joking around, giving it all THE BANTS, and someone will say, “…ah maaaaate, she’s so ugly, if I banged her I’d double bag it, a bag on her head and a bag on mine just in case mine fell off ahahahaha”

I would expect him to say, “that’s not cool.” But I know he wouldn’t. Not that I’m preempting my son to be a coward, but I know in social situations like this the route most men will take is to stay quiet, or else you look like a square.

So what does it really mean to be a man?

His beard?


His wise words?


His strength?


His capital?

I’m sure you’ve heard someone say the below phrases to your husband, boyfriend, brother, son….

“Man up.”
“Don’t be a sissy.”
“Don’t cry.”
“Talk like a man.”
“Act like a man.”
“Be a man.”

Or maybe even you have said it.

What I’ve come to realise in my quest for women’s rights is that surprisingly it’s not all about empowering women, it’s also about empowering men. Empowering men to feel comfortable talking about their feelings, to feel confident with a 28 waist line and 5 foot 6″ height, to learn to listen with an empathetic ear, to know that sex is for love as much as it is for lust.

I’ll be honest, out of pure anger and determination to win a fight, I said to my partner, “man up.” The sad thing is, he would never say this to me. I don’t need to man up, I need to, “stop being so sensitive.” It makes me wonder whether my partner really feels like I am being too sensitive or if this is because he has grown up in a society that hasn’t allowed him to show his sensitive side. The world would be better if everyone was more empathetic, no? 

In the recent Ghostbusters film, towards the end of the movie Jillian Holtzmann said, “Don’t hit like a man!” It was meant to be a joke, as in “Don’t hit like a girl!” but this really emphasises my point. These phrases, ‘you throw like a girl,’ are so ingrained in our language that it’s actually funny, LAUGHING OUT LOUD funny, to say it the other way around.

At the same time, the film also emphasises women are in the spotlight.

And the times are changing. Women are choosing sensitivity over arrogance, intelligence over muscle, and wisdom over capital.

The government has passed laws to accommodate the new working family with shared paternity leave. More and more men are becoming stay-at-home-Dads. The first woman was democratic nominee in the 2016 presidential election. The pay gap is starting to see a decline.

And men are becoming more feminine in their fashion.

With all of these societal changes we are also seeing a change amongst individuals.

So what does it mean being a man now?

It means being…..sensitive

It means being……kind

It means being…….loving

It’s a man who wants……a good family, three kids and a dog

It’s a man who wants… cook meals when he gets home from work

It’s a man who wants… share his feelings

It’s a man who wants……to support you

It’s a man that……makes you laugh

It’s a man that……you want to talk to

Okay……and a man that has washboard abs! ; )

Being a man now is a whole different ball game. They are not there for financial stability or protection anymore. They are your best friend. 

COD love with hudson

week 3 8

photo of me 4