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Don’t Suffer in Silence, Talk to Someone

Depression is a horrible, horrible thing. Mental illness is a horrible, vile, thing; it sucks away your soul and reduces you to a self loathing wreck, and a shadow of your former or normal self. Me and my husband didn’t think we could have children, he had suffered a loss with a previous partner so […]

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Dear Breasts, Though You Be But Little You Are Fierce

Dear Breasts, We have been through some tough times together. I remember the days when we couldn’t wait to grow up. In middle school, we wanted to wear a bra for the sake of being able to tell your friends “I am wearing a bra.” You were too small and flat to fit into a properly […]

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This is not what I was expecting

I was hurting. My mind, my body. The inside of my cells felt like they were shrivelling up. I was dirty. Skin cells clumping together, oily hair and dried blood. The idea of what my life would look like now, after giving birth, shattered. Little pieces of me falling to my hospital bed side. Hot, light and […]

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11 Reasons Why New Mums are Gangster

Since becoming a mum, I am much more confident in every day life. I don’t feel the pressure of having to please everyone and I am more focused on what I need to do for my family. I have a sense of freedom even though technically I am less free, I am finally able to follow my […]

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When Did Parenting Become So Fixed?

Being a mum is lonely or at least it is at times. Am I alone in feeling this? Don’t get me wrong I have people around me, Hubby, my mum but I still feel lonely. Maybe it’s because I left having a child until I was a bit older (although still just in my thirties), […]

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I Had No Problem Leaving My Baby

The more I talk to other mums, the more I feel weird for having felt (or not felt, as it were) this way. But the truth is, I had no problem leaving either of my babies for the first time. In fact, Amelia was a few days old when she first left the house without […]

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PND – Why Aren’t We Talking About It?

How come we still aren’t talking about it?  Why is it still so hush-hush? At Christmas, when charity buckets rattle collecting spare change for mental health charities, why am I still reading that new mums feel guilt and fear around the blues that follow the birth of a baby. If I broke my leg, I’d tell […]

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What If I Can Never Have Kids?

Once upon a time, I was a girl who thought she might be pregnant all of the time. As soon as I put on a bit of weight or noticed some water retention, I irrationally freaked out that I’d be having the baby of a colleague I’d had one too many wines with. Ok, I’m […]

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The Mother I Hoped I’d Be

I’m not the mother I thought I would be. I thought I would be such a fun mummy. The one who was always playing. Someone who would completely lose themselves in whatever the game was and not care about the mess it made, or how long it was going to take to tidy up. I […]

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Maybe I’m Crazy – Dealing with Anxiety, Life and Motherhood

People don’t believe me when I tell them that I suffer with severe anxiety, apparently I don’t seem the ‘type’. But suffer is probably the best term for it. As I write this, it feels like there is a tight band around my head, the more I think about it the tighter it becomes. My […]

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